Why Perspective Matters
The older I get, the more I've begrudgingly accepted that our perceptions really do shape our reality. The way I interpret situations influences how I feel, how I respond, and ultimately, how I experience life. When I’m faced with challenges, it’s easy to get stuck in patterns of negative thinking - assuming the worst, seeing obstacles as permanent, and in comes the ever lurking feeling of powerlessness against life’s circumstances.
Que cognitive reframing. Rooted in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), reframing is the process of challenging and changing the way we perceive thoughts, situations, and emotions. It doesn’t mean ignoring difficulties or pretending everything is positive, but rather, adjusting the way we interpret experiences so they become more balanced, constructive, and empowering.
By practicing cognitive reframing, we gain more control over our emotional responses and decision-making, allowing us to engage with life from a place of strength rather than helplessness.
What is Cognitive Reframing?
Cognitive reframing is the process of identifying unhelpful thoughts and actively shifting them toward a more realistic and constructive perspective. It’s not about forced positivity or denial, but about finding new ways to look at a situation that promote problem-solving, emotional resilience, and healthier coping.
For example:
Instead of believing the thought: "I failed that test. I’m so stupid. I’ll never be good at this,"
reframing shifts the perspective to, "I didn’t do as well as I hoped, but this gives me a chance to figure out what I struggled with so I can improve next time."
The facts of the situation haven’t changed - the test score is still the same. But the second statement is more balanced, solution-oriented, and self-compassionate, making it easier to move forward rather than stay stuck in self-defeat.
The Process of Cognitive Reframing: Step by Step
Reframing takes practice, but by following a structured approach, you can begin to shift negative thought patterns and cultivate a mindset that supports growth and resilience.
Step 1: Identify the Negative Thought
The first step is awareness. You can’t reframe what you don’t recognize. Pay attention to moments when your thoughts become self-critical, all-or-nothing, or overly pessimistic.
Ask Yourself:
What is the exact thought running through my mind right now?
Am I assuming the worst, blaming myself, or catastrophizing?
How does this thought make me feel?
Example:
"I completely messed up that presentation. Everyone probably thinks I’m incompetent."
Step 2: Challenge the Thought
Once you’ve identified the negative thought, question its accuracy and fairness. Thoughts are not facts—just because you think something doesn’t mean it’s true. Often, our automatic thoughts are based on assumptions, past experiences, or emotional reactions rather than reality.
Ask Yourself:
Is there actual evidence that supports this thought?
Am I exaggerating or making assumptions?
Would I say this to a friend in the same situation?
Example:
"Did I actually mess up the whole presentation, or was it just one moment that didn’t go as planned? Did anyone actually say I was incompetent, or am I assuming that?"
Step 3: Find a More Balanced Perspective
Now that you’ve questioned the original thought, it’s time to reframe it in a way that is more realistic, constructive, and self-compassionate. This doesn’t mean ignoring difficulties but instead seeing the full picture and allowing room for growth and solutions.
Ask Yourself:
What is a more neutral or compassionate way to view this situation?
How would I advise a friend if they had this thought?
What can I learn from this?
Example:
"I had a rough moment during my presentation, but that doesn’t mean the whole thing was a failure. People likely noticed what I did well, too. I can use this as a learning experience for next time."
Step 4: Reinforce the Reframe Through Action
Reframing is most effective when paired with action. After adjusting your perspective, consider what steps you can take to reinforce a healthier mindset.
Ask Yourself:
What can I do differently next time?
How can I remind myself of this new perspective?
What small step can I take to improve the situation?
Example:
"Next time, I’ll practice my speech more to feel more prepared. I’ll also remind myself that most people don’t focus on small mistakes as much as I think they do."
Taking action turns the reframe into something tangible, helping shift the brain away from negative thought loops.
Common Cognitive Distortions & How to Reframe Them
Sometimes, negative thoughts follow predictable patterns, known as cognitive distortions. Recognizing these patterns makes reframing easier.
All-or-Nothing Thinking: Seeing things as either a total success or total failure.
Instead of "If I can’t do it perfectly, I’ve failed,"
reframe to "Progress matters more than perfection. Every step forward counts."
Overgeneralization: Assuming one bad experience means all future experiences will be the same.
Instead of "I got rejected from that job, so I’ll never find one,"
reframe to "One rejection doesn’t define my career. I’ll keep applying and improving."
Mind Reading: Assuming you know what others think about you.
Instead of "They didn’t respond to my message—they must be mad at me,"
reframe to "There could be many reasons they haven’t replied. I won’t assume the worst."
Catastrophizing: Expecting the worst-case scenario to happen.
Instead of "If I make a mistake at work, I’ll get fired,"
reframe to "Mistakes happen, and I can learn from them. One mistake won’t ruin everything."
A Real-Life Example of Reframing in Action
Let’s imagine Lisa, a college student, struggling with social anxiety. She was excited to meet new people at an event but left feeling discouraged.
Original Thought:
"I was awkward the whole time. Everyone probably thought I was weird. I should just stop trying."
Challenge the Thought:
"Was I really awkward the whole time, or am I focusing on one or two moments? Did anyone actually say they thought I was weird, or is this just my assumption?"
Reframed Thought:
"Meeting new people can be uncomfortable, but that doesn’t mean I did poorly. I showed up, made an effort, and I’ll feel more confident next time."
Action Step:
Lisa decides to challenge herself to attend another event, but this time, she’ll remind herself that connection takes time and that small interactions matter.
Making Cognitive Reframing a Daily Habit
Cognitive reframing isn’t about ignoring reality—it’s about seeing it through a wider, more balanced lens. Over time, this practice helps reduce anxiety, improve self-esteem, and foster emotional resilience.
Journaling: Write down negative thoughts and challenge them with evidence.
Pause & Reflect: When you catch yourself in a negative spiral, take a deep breath and assess the thought objectively.
Reframing Prompts: Ask yourself, "What’s another way to look at this?" or "What would I tell a friend in this situation?"
The more you practice reframing, the more natural it becomes. Your thoughts create your reality—so why not shape them in a way that supports you rather than holds you back?
At Chattanooga Counseling and Consulting, we understand that shifting thought patterns and breaking free from negative cycles isn’t always easy—especially when you’re navigating life’s challenges on your own. Cognitive reframing is a powerful tool, but sometimes, having the right guidance makes all the difference. Whether you’re struggling with anxiety, stress, self-doubt, or major life transitions, we provide individual counseling and consulting services to help you gain clarity, develop healthier perspectives, and build the resilience needed to move forward. If you’re ready to challenge unhelpful thoughts and create meaningful change in your life, we’re here to help. Book an appointment today and take the first step toward a more balanced, empowered mindset.